sometimes I say dumb things

I think God (whoever or whatever that may mean to you) has a thing for fineliners.

I get that. I love a good fineliner. Actually, I get irrationally excited about a fair number of writing instruments. And a fair number of things in general. Oh boy. Three sentences in and I’m already off track (that’s the kind of week I’m having). Bear with me.

Where I was going with that was that there’s a fine line between a lot of things. Like I-really-can’t-taste-that-chili-pepper and get-me-a-glass-of-water-right-now-I-can’t-breathe (also, water totally doesn’t help). Like being adorably cute and being totally creepy. Like trying to gently tease someone about how they styled their hair today and accidentally telling them it looks awful and you can’t stop looking because it looks like a train wreck. And then they get all self-conscious and go fix their hair in the bathroom during lunch.

Oops.

But you know what we should focus on instead of my mistakes? It’s officially Christmas season, and I have a mini fake tree in my office with little lights and a star made out of paperclips and baubles and chocolate (yeah, I hang chocolate from my tree. This is how I get people to still be my friends when I say terrible things). And I made vegan gingerbread men, and decorated their cute little faces with royal icing and gave them m&m buttons (and seriously, while we’re talking about buttons: I’m the girl with a safety pin holding the button onto my coat, because I’m too much of a hot mess to sew it back on. Don’t listen to accidental rudeness from a girl like me).

I’m sorry. Let’s eat gingerbread and giggle about things together. You can say mean things about my hair. I haven’t had a haircut in eight months. I look like a hobo. Still friends?

Of course we are.

Vegan Gingerbread

Adapted from the PPK.

Ingredients

two thirds cups canola oil
one cup sugar
half cup brown sugar
half cup molasses
half cup almond milk
one teaspoon vanilla
four cups all-purpose flour
one teaspoon baking soda
one teaspoon baking powder
one teaspoon salt
one teaspoon nutmeg
one teaspoon cloves
pinch all spice
half tablespoon cinnamon
one tablespoon ground ginger

Directions

Mix all your wet ingredients really well. Add in all the dry. Keep stirring until they’re all combined.
Scoop all of that out onto some plastic wrap, cover it up, and throw it in the freezer for an hour or a day or a week.
When you’re ready, preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Grab your dough (it may need a few minutes to soften if it’s been in the freezer for more than an hour) and roll it out to about a quarter of an inch. Cut out whatever shapes you’re into and put them on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Smush together all the remaining dough and repeat the process until you’ve used it all up. Bake each tray for about 10-12 minutes. Cool completely before icing (I used this recipe for royal icing).

7 thoughts on “sometimes I say dumb things

  1. Pingback: Vegan gingerbread cookies - TnyBits

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