climb a mountain, tell everyone


The stickers are out.

It’s been a while (two whole months- what? That’s a long time) since I’ve had the stickers out to track my gym/yoga/life progress. But now, in the middle (err, beginning) of my Grind for Kids challenge, I thought it would be motivating to do a fun/fancy/childish tracking sheet. And because Jason keeps trying to pit me against other Grind-ers (that sounds worse than it should) in our office, if anyone tries to challenge me then I will have glittery, star-shaped evidence that I have indeed done more Grouse Grinds than anyone else in this company.

So anyway, I hit the Grind first thing on Thursday morning and hated it the whole way up, as usual. And then softened toward it on the gondola ride back down, as usual. And I decided it would be a great idea to do it again two days later by the time I got to my car, as usual.

I may be illogical but at least I’m consistent.

Then I spent the whole workday wanting to curl up and nap under my desk. But I’m still totally smug that I climbed a mountain by 7.30am. What did you do before 7.30am on Thursday? Jason answered emails. Yeah. That’s what I thought.

So today I decided to make a post-hike snack to give me enough energy to at least keep me upright in my chair if I’m going to nap at my desk (I wouldn’t be the first employee here to do so). And because I’ve never seen Jason eat anything other than apples (peeled and sliced thinly) and he is not the employee who naps at his desk, I am including apples.


Apple Energy Bars (vegan, gluten-free, glorious)

These are in honour of Jason, because this post is in honour of Jason. I’m not just being obnoxious. Jason has the cutest children ever. Graham tells me I can’t steal them though because that’s illegal. I would obviously never steal someone else’s children, Graham.

(For liability reasons, I feel the need to clarify that that wasn’t sarcasm; I seriously would never steal anyone’s children. The italics were to emphasize how ridiculous it is that Graham thinks I would steal someone’s children. Even if they are really adorable.)


Ingredients:

Two apples
One third cup chia seeds
One third cup hemp seeds
One third cup flax meal
Half cup walnuts
Half cup cashews
Half cup almonds
Three quarters cup pumpkin seeds
Half cup raisins
One cup dried figs, chopped into small bits
Two tablespoons coconut oil
Two tablespoons maple syrup (because I’m Canadian. Agave is fine if you’re Mexican. If you’re neither, then do whatever you want.)
One teaspoon cinnamon
Half teaspoon nutmeg
Pinch cloves


Directions:

Preheat your oven to 225 degrees. Peel your apples (or don’t, but Jason doesn’t like pesticides. I’m lazy so I bought organic.) Slice as thinly as you can and lay on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Bake for two or so hours, flipping after about an hour, until they’re crispy. (Yeah, yeah, I know. These were almost raw, or at least no-bake, but it’s hard to make good energy bars if you have shredded raw apple mushing things up. Go buy apple chips if you’re feeling lazy / don’t have three hours to waste making apple chips.) Once they’re cool, break them into little pieces.

Throw all the nuts and seeds and apple chips and fun stuff (but not the oil or syrup) into a food processor. Pulse pulse pulse. Add the oil and syrup. Add dark chocolate chips if you’re into that (and hey, why not? The apple chips already ruined that whole raw thing anyway.) Stir until it’s well mixed.

Scoop the mixture into a 9×13 pan and press them flat. (Be clever. Line the pan with some parchment paper or aluminum foil or something first, so they’re easier to get out later.) You can throw everything into the fridge for an hour and roll them into balls, or freeze overnight and slice into bars. Store in the freezer.


Final thought: I wasn’t sure if it was creepy/inappropriate or not to feature a coworker in a blog post. I (obviously) decided to do it anyway because I accepted a long time ago that I am a little bit creepy/inappropriate. Life’s just more fun that way. Besides, it’s not like I included his last name and some pictures of his face taken with a telephoto lens from the building across the street.

2 thoughts on “climb a mountain, tell everyone

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