veering towards alcoholism

Christmas is coming.

I’ve been excited. I’ve decorated my office. I’ve mailed Christmas cards. I’ve been baking lots of Christmassy things. I’ve been listening to Christmas music. I’ve braved the mall and bought most of my presents. I’ve almost nailed down which dress I want to wear to my company’s Christmas party. This isn’t going to be your average, boring, leave-right-after-dinner Christmas party. We get rowdy. Have I mentioned that I have the best coworkers ever?

But today I just feel like I need to exhale. I want someone to gently unknot the muscles my back. Play with my hair. Bring me bacon in bed. Pretend not to notice that I spilled chai on my white coat and dunked my headphone in my gingerbread latte (some days I need to drink a lot of coffee, but I get really jittery. And more socially awkward than I already am).

Sadly the manfriend is already in Australia, and I can’t seem to train my dog to do anything useful other than cuddle (on the bright side, he’s pretty amazing at that).

So it seems I’m going to have to rely on my own willpower to haul myself out of bed (yup, I’m writing this in bed) and make myself a cup of tea while I finish off one last Christmas treat. Let’s boycott the oven. And the stove. Let’s make bourbon balls.

While we’re at it, let’s drink too much bourbon and rediscover the holiday spirit together. Oh, and can we also talk about my Christmas wish list for a second? A cast iron skillet. A really great rubber spatula. A food styling book. Nerdy dishtowels. Jellybeans.

Sorry, I’m being really bratty today. We can stop talking about me and what I want now.

Let’s get back to the part where we drink bourbon together.

Bourbon Balls (vegan)


one cup icing sugar
two tablespoons cocoa powder
two and a half cups oreo cookie crumbs or wafer crumbs (I used half Nilla wafers and half oreos)
one cup pecans (walnuts are cool too)
half teaspoon cinnamon
half cup bourbon
scant two tablespoons honey (or agave if you’re the type of vegan that doesn’t do honey)
extra icing sugar, for coating


Throw all the dry ingredients in a food processor. Food process the bejeezus out of them. Add the rest of the ingredients (except the icing sugar for coating). Food process the bejeezus out of that, too.
Let it sit, uncovered, on the counter for a few hours. Commence the bourbon drinking (if you haven’t already).
Put some icing sugar in a bowl. Scoop out bits of fudgy bourbony goodness and roll them into balls. Roll them around in the icing sugar until they’re coated.
Store in an airtight container. Or uncovered. Who cares. Drink more bourbon. In bed.
I’m not ashamed.

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