As you probably have already realized, I struggle to be socially competent.
For instance, last week I was having trouble with my laugh. It was a bit too loud, and a bit too staccato. The more I thought about it, the worse it got.
I’m also terrible at receiving compliments. Someone complimented my outfit a while back, and the president of the company said that I was always very well-dressed. I pretty much stared at him with my mouth open until the conversation moved on.
I think my totally inappropriate response was due to shock. These days I sortof try to adopt trends once they’ve stuck around for at least a few months (although I’ll pass on the current leather pants thing, and really Vogue? Feathers?)
I don’t find it easy to put together an outfit. A few years ago I was pairing two different prints. Plaid and paisley. That raises so many questions. Like, why did no one stop me before I left the house? Does anyone else realize that paisley is just a bunch of little sperms? Is anyone going to notice if I safety-pin my shirt together because I lost a button? What exactly is one supposed to wear with ankle boots? Can you wear brown and grey together? Why can’t I zip up this pencil skirt?
Cookies. The answer to that last one is cookies.
I’m much better in the kitchen. I know what goes well with what. Caramel and sea salt. Cheddar cheese and dill. A glass of wine and… anything.
The pairings of the day? Apples and cinnamon. Nuts and oats. This muesli and your stomach.
Bonus: eating this for breakfast should make it easier to zip up that damned pencil skirt.
Bircher Muesli (vegan)
three cups rolled oats
two cups cooled apple cinnamon tea (apple juice is fine too. I used David’s Tea)
two apples, coarsely grated (I used the largest side of my cheese grater)
one cup frozen blueberries
juice from one lime
one tablespoon honey (vegans can use agave)
a teaspoon or so each of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves (optional; go with your own spice preferences, or leave them out entirely)
yoghurt (I’m in love with this coconut one, or this one for any lactose-intolerant friends and lovers)
mixed nuts, berries and seeds (I like cashews, macadamia nuts and hemp hearts)
Mix together all ingredients except yoghurt and nuts/seeds in a bowl. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
Before serving, spoon into individual bowls and top with yoghurt, nuts, berries and seeds.
One last pairing: the manfriend and I. Happy Valentine’s Day D, I love you.