Last night I got to thinking about all my drama-inducing, life-consuming, I-want-to-get-in-your-pants-but-really-I-don’t-even-know-what-that-means-so-just-kiss-me-but-no-tongue-please-that’s-gross major crushes on boys when I was in elementary school.
The next step was (obviously) dusting off my Facebook account to see what they’re doing now, since I haven’t talked to any of them since elementary school. Even though we all went to the same high school. Come to think of it, I probably didn’t talk to them in elementary school either.
pretty painfully shy.
To my surprise, I’m Facebook friends with all of them (apparently I must have talked to them at some point). Most no longer live in Vancouver, although I ran into one of the guys here a couple years ago, and totally thought he was a homeless man trying to break into my building. He wasn’t.
A bunch of them are still friends. Am I the only one who did a terrible job of keeping in touch after graduation? (Also, am I the only one who rotated my crushes between guys who were all friends with each other?)
I feel mildly creepy for Facebook stalking all of them and then publicly admitting it on the internet, since it’s been years since they crossed my mind. But they’ll never know – unless they’re reading this post, in which case now who’s the creeper?
Anyway, they seem to all be doing well. So that’s good.
The other thing I loved in elementary school? Fig newtons.
Terrible segue? Yes. Don’t act surprised. You know me by now.
Homemade Fig Bars (vegan)
Adapted from the PPK
one pound (454 grams) dried figs, stems removed and diced
two thirds cup water
quarter cup maple syrup
two teaspoons lemon zest
two tablespoons ground flax seeds
quarter cup almond milk
half cup canola oil
three quarters cup sugar
half tablespoon vanilla
one cup white pastry flour
three quarters cup whole wheat pastry flour
one teaspoon baking powder
half teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line an 8×8 inch pan with foil and grease the inside.
In a saucepan over medium heat, bring figs, water and syrup to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and stir occasionally, until they become a thick, chunky paste. If it gets too dry, add a bit more water. Stir in lemon zest, remove from heat and set aside.
Combine flax meal, sugar, milk, oil and vanilla in a large bowl and stir to combine (the oil won’t fully mix; that’s okay). Sift in the rest of the ingredients and mix until it comes together as dough. Divide dough in half.
On a silpat or piece of wax paper, roll out half the dough until it’s large enough to cover the base of the 8×8 pan. Flip the whole thing into the pan and peel away the paper.
Spread the filling over the dough, and then cover with the second half of the dough the same way you did the first.
Bake for 20-22 minutes, or until the crust is golden. Cool in the pan. Once it’s completely cool, remove and slice.