I spend a lot of time flip-flopping between thinking I’m really girly and thinking I’m way too much like a guy.
You’d think I don’t have enough to keep me busy on a day-to-day basis.
But if I look back at my baby pictures, I’m pretty sure my parents wanted a boy. I’m in all these photos with other little babies my age, and all the girls are in fluffy pink tutus and pink knitted beanies. I’m wearing overalls and a train conductor hat.
When I was a little older, maybe 7 or so, I played with Lego, a train set, and a construction tool kit (made specifically for kids). I did own a couple Barbies, but when I was at my dad’s house, I had to play with them in my closet.
I guess my parents got their wish, since I’m now an engineer. But I try to be a girly engineer – my steel-toed boots have hot pink laces; I wear makeup and dresses to the office pretty much year round; I took up the most feminine extra-curricular activities I could find. The one thing I can’t do? Long fingernails.
I run into girls all the time who have these long, brightly coloured claws. If I don’t cut my nails for a week I can’t function. My nail beds get sore from typing, one nail digs into another finger when I hold a pen, I end up out in public with bread dough and muffin batter under my nails, I accidentally draw blood on myself (and others), and I can’t grip anything to save my life.
It’s probably also very difficult to punch anyone. I like to be prepared.
…That’s a boy scouts thing, isn’t it.
One thing I do that is definitely girly? Make pie.
Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble Pie, to be exact.