In this day and age of Facebook and Twitter and Kim Kardashian’s bum, where do you draw the line on what is too much to post on the internet?
My line is drawn way before my bum.
But in the spirit of not-quite-full disclosure (and a kind of funny story), I recently purchased an epilator. For those of you who aren’t familiar, an epilator is basically a giant monster electric tweezer. Actually, it’s like 40 tweezers. I was hoping it would be more convenient than waxing my legs (and longer-lasting than shaving).
So anyway, I went and bought the epilator with a friend who also uses one, and then I got home and wasn’t really sure what to do with it. Instructions on these sorts of things are terrible; all it told me was not to use it under running water because it’s an electrical appliance, and not to let small children play with it.
I can do that. What I can’t do is identify what I need out of the bag of ten plastic adaptors.
But I turned it on anyway, and it vibrated and made a lot of noise and generally looked terrifying. Because I wasn’t entirely confident I was using it correctly, I decided to test it before I used it. On the back of my forearm.
I think the logic behind this was that if it hurt or started stabbing me with the 40 tweezers it wouldn’t hurt quite as much on my forearm compared to my leg. What I didn’t take into proper consideration was that this is a hair removal device.
I now have a small bald patch on my right forearm.
To be fair, I’m Asian and not particularly hairy and it’s not like anyone who isn’t me is going to notice and point at it and shriek. But it was very stressful for my OCD, and I had to make blueberry cake to make up for it.
Blueberry Cake (vegan)
two cups all purpose flour
half cup almond meal (or almond flour; same thing)
one cup sugar
four teaspoons baking powder
one teaspoon salt
two thirds cup coconut yogurt
two thirds cup coconut milk
two thirds cup canola oil
one tablespoon vanilla
zest of one lemon
two cups frozen blueberries
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Line and grease a round cake pan (mine was 8″, and I had some extra batter for muffins).
Mix together all the wet ingredients in a large bowl (yogurt through vanilla). Sift in all the dry ingredients (flour through salt) and stir until just barely mixed. Fold in zest and blueberries.
Spoon into prepared cake pan (or muffin pan). Bake until an inserted toothpick comes out dry.
I topped mine with a bit of icing – just play with mixing icing sugar and almond milk until you get the right consistency.