occupational hazards

caramel banana bread

It seems that as a by-product of my blog and my studies in editing, I have become the de facto writer for my friends.

Entertainingly, the only things they currently need me to write are online dating profiles. I agreed, with the caveat that my writing gets to be posted on my blog (when suffering from a lack of things to post… Any port in a storm). Harold and Kumar* are two of my favourite people. If you’re single and in Vancouver, you should totally date one of them.

*Not their real names.

banana bread

So this is my first rough draft for Kumar that I told him to add to and edit. It’s missing important information on what makes him such an awesome human and why you should date him, but in the current form I think it’s a fun read.

banana bread

Kumar:

In January I will become a student of the human body, germs, and ions, but for now I spend my days at the airport and my nights at the circus. I often get roped into spending my evenings watching terrible movies with my dad.

I’m looking for a girl who will come with me to eat anything that I can convince myself has health benefits. I also like hot chocolate and snuggling on the couch.

Or running. Running is cool too, if you’re into that.

I’d love to meet a girl who is up for going on adventures with me – I want to try skydiving and indoor shooting. It’d be great if you had no major criminal charges in the last five years, have a full set of teeth, and wouldn’t be offended if I cracked a joke about you cleaning like a wife.

We can start with coffee in a well-lit, public area, and end up strolling hand-in-hand through the streets of Surrey.

Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.

sliced caramel banana bread

In unrelated news (or, if you really want it to be related, probably the reason I’m not stuck online dating myself) banana bread!

Caramel Walnut Banana Bread

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 3 medium overripe bananas, peeled and mashed
  • 1/3 cup sour cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 and 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup toasted walnut bits, plus extra for topping
  • 5 or 6 soft caramels (I used Trader Joe’s salted caramels)

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a loaf pan (or line it with parchment paper) and set aside.
  2. Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
  3. Stir in the mashed bananas, sour cream, and vanilla. Keep beating until everything is well-mixed.
  4. Sift in dry ingredients (flour through salt) and stir until just combined.
  5. Fold in walnuts.
  6. Pour into the prepared loaf pan. Lightly press the caramels into the batter (I went in a vertical line down the centre). You don’t need to press too hard; they’ll sink while baking.
  7. Sprinkle some extra walnut bits on top.
  8. Bake for about an hour, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Serve while it’s still warm for the best caramel experience!

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