A few weeks ago, I had finished working at Cirque and was back to being a full-time student (or, at least, a part-time student on a full-time basis). All my courses were online, and I had recently done a Costco shopping trip. I really had no reason to ever leave the house again.
Then I got a new, Monday to Friday, nine-to-five job, added a few more classes (because if I can take six courses in the next six months and finish my certificate program faster than anyone else who’s ever taken it, of course I’m going to be the nutjob that does that – sleep is for the weak), made a few more friends, did some part-time work for the local circus school (check it out!), and still tried to maintain my dance and circus schedule.
I was solidly juggling it all (with the exception of spending enough time with my mother – sorry Mom) until the man went out of town for the long weekend. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself at the grocery store on a Saturday night buying two types of chips, jujubes, chocolate, marshmallows, ice cream, cake mix, and children’s breakfast cereal.
I told the cashier I was having a Super Bowl party.
The takeaway from this is that I’m clearly in need of constant adult supervision. (Also, it turns out that when you live alone, the dishes that you put in the sink stay in the sink.)
C: Happy Valentine’s Day. Thank you for always making me laugh, cleaning up after me, telling me when I’m making bad decisions (and sometimes letting me make them anyway), and being the most supportive co-conspirator a girl could ask for in this shitshow we call life. I love you so much.
So, naturally, I made you these aggressively rude conversation heart cookies. Because this is what I do.
Vanilla Sugar Cookies
- 1 cup butter, at room temperature
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 2 eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 3 1/2cups all-purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons cream of tartar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until fully incorporated. Stir in vanilla extract. Sift in dry ingredients. Mix well.
- Divide dough into three roughly equal parts, wrap in saran wrap and press to flatten (they’ll be easier to roll out and will cool faster this way). Place in the fridge for at least four hours. You can also freeze the dough at this stage (just defrost in the fridge for a few hours before using).
- When you’re ready to bake, preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Roll out the dough (one package at a time; leave the others in the fridge to stay cold – they’ll be somewhat less sticky this way) on a well-floured surface. I like my cookies on the crispier side, so I roll mine to about a quarter of an inch thick, but you can adjust according to your preferences.
- Use a cookie cutter to make your desired shapes, and place on a parchment-lined baking sheet about half an inch to an inch apart (they will spread a little, but not much). Again, the baking time will depend on how crispy you want them, but mine took about ten to twelve minutes.
I used this recipe.
Colour and roll out the fondant. Use the same cookie cutters to cut out shapes. Paint water onto the back of the fondant shapes, and lightly press them onto the sugar cookies. That’s it! I then used royal icing to write on top.