I was on Facebook the other day (by which I mean I was on Facebook the other day with a purpose, because let’s face it, I aimlessly meander around Facebook most days) and I was looking through a friend’s posts to see if I could track down her boyfriend, because he’s a comedian and I was thinking about seeing if he’d be interested in performing at an event I’m putting together.
The specifics of that weren’t really relevant. I apologize for the 3.7 seconds you just wasted.
Anyway, I scrolled all the way back through her existing posts trying to figure out how to spell her boyfriend’s last name, and realized that in the last four months she hadn’t posted about him at all.
…Did they break up?
I realize that it’s this mentality that drives millennials to post about their significant others an average of 23 times a week. If Facebook and Instagram aren’t full of pictures of us adventuring in some forest and eating Lebanese food and staring lovingly into each others’ eyes, his stalker might think he’s single and then she might reach out to him and then my life might spiral out of control. It’s just… Who’s got time for that much posting?
And, really, who’s got the stomach for that much Lebanese food?
Luckily, I’m pretty sure that as long as I keep baking these berry crumble bars, he’ll stick around.
Berry Crumble Bars
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen.
- 1 and 1/2 cups flour
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 1 and 1/4 cup quick oats
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp nutmeg
- 3/4 cup butter
- 1 cup frozen cranberries
- 1 cup frozen blueberries
- zest and juice from one lemon
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 2 tbsp flour
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 2 tbsp butter
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a 9×13″ pan with parchment paper and set aside.
- In a food processor, pulse all crust ingredients until mixed and the largest chunk of butter left is about the size of a pea.
- Take two cups of crust mixture and set aside. Press the rest into an even layer in the prepared pan. Bake for about 13-15 minutes.
- In the meantime, stir together all the filling ingredients. Make sure the berries are evenly coated.
- When the crust is done, pour the filling on top and spread it across evenly. Then top with the reserved crust mixture.
- Bake for about 40 minutes, until the filling is bubbling through the crust and the top crumble is brown.
- Let cool before cutting into squares and serving.