a pre-wedding rant

engagement photo
Photo by Wilson Lau Photography

It would be a lie to say I’ve been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a little girl, since, to be honest, I don’t think I was.

I wasn’t one for looking through bridal magazines, or picking colour schemes, or fantasizing about what kind of dress I wanted (or even what kind of husband — though I did often fantasize about 73 different kinds of dogs that I would love to have and to hold). I was much more interested in teaching my stuffed animals how to read, write, and do math; or planning my survival from the impending mega earthquake that’s long overdue to hit Vancouver; or baking chocolate chip cookies.

BUT… that doesn’t mean I’m not excited for my wedding day. I’m so excited and overwhelmed and nervous-happy that I can’t even find the words to talk about it — when asked, I spend most of my time playing it cool. Like, whatever, it’s just one day and there’s going to be pizza and beer so that’s going to be fun I guess. But inside I’m fangirling about Chris in fancy clothes / balloons / 8 different desserts / calligraphy / french manicures / no one else better show up wearing white!

While I’m not naive enough (*cough* …too cynical?) to believe that my wedding day will be the happiest day of my life, I do still believe that this day, and this trip, are going to make it to my highlight reel. They’re pretty important, in the small scheme of my life.

Which is maybe why I get so annoyed when I’m looking at online wedding resources, and they shame me about how my wedding isn’t going to be good enough.

In Artifact Uprising’s “Intro to Wedding Invitation Calligraphy,” the author writes:

I think making sure the aesthetics are consistent throughout all of your paper goods is key. From the invitations to the day-of goods, keeping the style and lettering the same makes for a cohesive celebration that’ll show forethought to your guests.

Before I tear into this, let’s get one thing straight. I love Artifact Uprising. I’ve ordered cards, photo prints, photobooks, and even our wedding invitations from them. They do gorgeous prints and have clean, modern designs. Their website and photobook editors are simple to use, and they have a quick turnaround time.

BUT.

Is it really key that all the aesthetics are consistent through all of your paper goods? Is “showing forethought” to your guests that important? I ask this as a bride-to-be with a stepsister who sent me a Facebook message to RSVP, because a week after I gave her the invitation, she had already lost it.

She, and very likely the rest of our guests, will have no recollection of what our wedding invitations looked like, much less whether or not the calligraphy matches. The only forethought she probably cares about is that I order enough food and alcohol to keep them happy and full for a few hours.

I understand that Artifact Uprising is a business, and as such, they are obligated to convince us that consistent calligraphy will really take the wedding to the next level, so of course we should pay them to do it all for us. I am a career marketer. I get it.

But, to all my fellow brides and brides-to-be out there, I just want to say, enough. You are enough and your wedding plans are enough, and let’s not get carried away with things that nobody will remember. Your guests don’t care. No one has ever said, “man, that was a beautiful wedding, but it would have been so much better if their save-the-dates font matched their menu font.” (Don’t even get me started on why wedding menus are apparently a necessary thing.)

If calligraphy is your thing, and you care, then you do you. But if it’s not, then this is a reminder to not let anyone profit from bride-shaming you (or me).

And to Chris, I can’t wait to marry you. Matching calligraphy or not… it’s going to be one heck of an amazing day.

See you on the other side.

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